Ripe or Rotten?

Posted on May 1, 2013 by

“What Does (or would) the fruit of a “heart of wisdom” look like in your life?”

The text (not from a phone:)) focused on “Numbering our days.”  Making our days count for something other than us merely taking up space on this planet.

In Zig Ziglers, Daily Insights devotional, he poses a question or two.  The above question was the one for that days reading.

So I started pondering about fruit and what that referred to in his question.

The first thing I think about fruit, is that it should be beautiful, ripe and tasty.

Or my thoughts go to, the often thrown out fruit, that has gone bad in my fridge. I also remember the peaches, from a tree I once had. These peaches were so abundant, but they would drop to the ground and rot because we couldn’t keep up with the harvesting. Finally this fruit tree was no more! Taken out by it’s root system so it wouldn’t ever be a peach tree again.

Because my platform (meaning the principles I do my life from) in life is all things “Words,” my mind automatically went to the fruit of my “heart of wisdom” in relationship to my words.  The words I think, speak and write are what my heart produces.  And it is my desire that the words I think, speak and write are wise!  I want this for myself as well as truly desiring it for you as well.

Because I like my crazy peach tree, want to produce good and consumable fruit in my life.  I want to be a person that God can say “Well done my good and faithful servant”. Rather than Him needing to remove me by my roots somehow, for not living in and doing His will.

When I think about my words being wise, it seems daunting.  And it especially is, when my words are my weakness, as well as my strength.  I know none of you have ever had your foot in your mouth or been completely exhausted by a hard conversation, but I certainly have.

But then, there are the times when I get the gift of affirmation and encouragement from someone, and I am high as a kite for days!!! (Not to be confused with my pre-sanity days of addiction) If you’ve ever read author Gary Chapman’s book on the Five Love Languages, you too have discovered how you can be best-loved by others.  If you haven’t, I highly encourage you to add it to your reading list.  From his list of five,  My top love language is “Words of Affirmation.” Surprise, surprise!

So in answering Zig’s question.  My fruit from “the heart of wisdom” came to me as a list of “P’s” taken from a Bible verse in the book of  2 Timothy, verses 23-25, that says:  To reject foolish and ignorant conversations. Also not to engage in heated disputes, but be kind toward everyone. And that an apt teacher be patient and gentle in her application and sharing of the truth.

So the fruit that I hope and pray to always produce would be:

  • PEACEABLE — I would be kind to everyone with the intention of, not quarreling or having foolish arguments. And to be a calming influence.
  • PURPOSEFUL — I want everyone to know God personally. To know that you can live the life and be the person that God designed you to be before you were born.
  • PRACTICAL –  I want to be instructive, with the simplicity of application in the ways of God and the living out His Words and Ways.
  • PRAISEFILLED — I want my words to be encouraging and affirming to you my reader, while at the same time to always be giving God the glory in all things.

I like to think that “wise words will endure.” That my words will have a positive and life giving lasting effect on those that I would speak to. Whether through my blog or in my everyday conversations with others.

My prayer for you today, is that your words as well would be praise worthy.  And that you could say and feel in your heart that all is well with your soul too!

“And all IS well with my soul today:)”

Posted in Bible, God, Living LIfe, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, My Likes, Purposeful Posts, Reading, Studying | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Small Things with Great Love–Part 3

Posted on April 17, 2013 by

Step Ten:

  Continued to Take Personal Inventory and , When I WAS Wrong, Promptly Admitted it!!

After my bitter-sweet, up and down time with my nephews passing and my honeys anniversary gift,  you’d think my next few days would have been easy or at least quiet.

But no God had other plans for me…..

Usually when you hear the quote from Mother Theresa about doing small things with great love, we think of the poor, the destitute and maybe even the disenfranchised. But I would like to have you consider that if we do things with great love for anyone and everyone; maybe, just maybe we wouldn’t have so many who are poor, destitute and disenfranchised!

The point at which I really noticed this quote in reference to anyone other than these people groups, was only last week.  And I’d like to challenge you to think of those closest to you.

Maybe like me it’s your husband that comes to mind.  Maybe it’s your child or a close friend.

My husband Skip only recently has discovered a new thing in his life, that he’d been having a tough time understanding and maneuvering; but it is something that I have had experience with. So wanting to be the helpful wife that I am; the not so perfectly worded (I try) side of me came out.

Suffice it to say, it was not one of my better moments. I was definitely more brusque in my delivery than sensitive and more dictatorial than sincere as I stood over him, hands on my hips, alternating with wagging pointer finger, with just the slightest of raised voices (not!)

Let’s just say that it was “one of those nights.”  Now I know none of you has ever had a time when you’ve lost control of yourselves; but I did.

Sure, we could chalk it up to an over load of stress.  Or grief over losing my nephew.  Or I  could have used some lame excuse like, “I’m just soooo tiieerd!” Or if I wasn’t 7 years in to Menopause I could have blamed it on it being “the time of the month.”

But truth be told it was none of these.  I was just being selfish and cocky in my knowledge of what to do about “it”.  I didn’t take into consideration the reality, of what He really was going through and how hard it had been on him.  I didn’t think before I started talking about what I wanted to say to him.

The biggest thing I did not do, was I did not pray before.

I didn’t talk to the Lord about Skip’s situation.  How my situations relate, what is the best way or time to talk with him about it or how I could help him get through this new territory he has to deal with.

I’ve been working a regular Twelve Step program for over 3 years now and I know a better way to do things.  I just didn’t do what I knew to do right.  My methods were the old Debi’s ways which never worked anyway and which I thank God everyday are mostly no more!

But the right thing I did do, was to grab a hold of my self-centered self and actively step back into sanity and do Step 5.  I admitted to God, to myself  and after all the unnecessary words and tears were over, I told Skip the exact nature of why I was wrong. Then I ask him to forgive me for being an insensitive jerk.

I told him he was right.  (Yes, you can say it too.)

I told him I really did want to be the helper that God had created me to be for him.  And that I would more readily consider what his needs were and be much more thoughtful, kind and graceful while we tackle this new thing in our lives together. I told him how very much I loved him and that we’d get through this, just like everything else, with God’s leading and one step at a time.

What does this have to do with the poor and destitute?  Everything. 

Sometimes we ourselves or someone else are the needy ones!  In our spirits we are often lacking the vital necessity of being loved the way we need to be loved. 

I wasn’t attentive to Skip’s need to be heard before being his helper.  Like was mentioned in the quote from Small Things with Great Love — Part 2, I wasn’t being “understanding” of his needs before mine.

So in that way I wasn’t loving him the way he needed me to, small or otherwise!

Now when I do consider and look to understand his needs before my own, I will be doing small things, one at a time with great love.

And that will hopefully translate into many more small things that will grow into bigger and better things with greater and greater and greater love!!

And Love did cover a multitude of sins.  And love, God’s love can conquer all!

                                                                 And for today, it is once again well with my soul:-)

Posted in Bible, Change, Holy Spirit, Living LIfe, Marriage, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, My Hubby, Prayer, Purposeful Posts, Recovery, Stewardship, Who Debi is | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Small Things With Great Love–Part 2

Posted on April 16, 2013 by

In an article in the Wall Street Journal dated February 12th, 2013,  Elizabeth Bernstein talks about “compassionate love” as—recognizing a partner’s needs and concerns and putting them ahead of your own.

This is the kind of love Kim had for her husband Alan.

And, “It’s not just making people feel good,” says Harry T. Reis, a University of Rochester professor of psychology. “It’s a way of communicating to the other person that you understand what they are all about, and that you appreciate and care for them.”

As I will illustrate in my next story:

The evening before I received the call from Kim of Alan’s death, had been a marvelous night. And when I think about my love of words I can’t help remember that evening of April 1st, 2013.  This was the night my wonderful husband Skip and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary.

Yes, we got married on April Fools Day. (for another blog post:-))

That morning coming out of our bedroom to get my first cup of coffee I was very pleasantly surprised by the gorgeous site of one dozen red roses and a card from my honey who’d left much earlier that day.  After a weepy read of said card, I noticed at the very bottom the words: be ready at 4pm, dress “nice”.   My tears turned to smiles as I wondered what the plan for the evening would be.

Ready to go, in my “nice” dress, I paced around excitedly waiting for Skip to arrive.  As he came through the door his arms were full as is usually the case, but today I noticed something in the color of red peeking out.  Sitting a cute red gift bag on the counter he told me he’d quickly change and we would leave.

It was very hard for me not to touch the very cute bag. You see it had all these small white pieces of paper that were attached by red curly ribbons hanging out of it! As I looked closer I noticed that on each piece of paper was written the numbers 1 through 5.  Now I was really curious.

Handsome as ever Skip joined me. He then handed me my gift and we left, with me holding the bag quite literally.  He told me that we’d be driving a while and when we got to our destination, then I could open the gift!

Driving along I read a magazine (As is my custom, why is for another blog post) looking up now and again until I finally recognized where we were going.  Our 1st stop was in the parking lot across from the high school where we met.

Skip had written out specific details that he remembered about our meeting and our years at Mater Dei.  Then in question form written there asked for my memories as well.  I was so impressed with his idea.  And I cried of course while reciting mine.

The evening progressed on a journey through our dating years to significant places only to us, including the church where we were married.  There we sat in the car reading and sharing our memories. Then at Skip’s suggestion we went inside, sat in a pew and prayed together for our marriage. More tears for me. As well as stares at the only white couple in the church, from all the cute old Vietnamese parishioners that were there praying too.

The mystery tour ended with the 5th stop being at the restaurant where we had our first dinner out, as husband and wife.  During our meal at the Orange Hill Restaurant we discussed a variety of topics from a list of questions Skip had printed up on that last piece of paper.

I have had some amazing dates with my husband, but this one was incredibly special because of the significant effort Skip made, by the writing up of his memories to all 5 of the destinations we visited!  And if that wasn’t enough, to make and gather up all those conversation starters went beyond outstanding!!

The present wasn’t expensive but it was extravagant in the fact that Skip “knows” me and “understands” me.  He took my love for words and made them come alive with his memories. The effort he made and his love for me was his gift to me.

And to me, it might have been small by the worlds standards but to me it was great!

to be continued……

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Small Things With Great Love–Part 1

Posted on April 16, 2013 by

Words are having a hard time coming to me lately. Usually I am full of them and have been known to rattle on repeating myself.  But the events of the last few weeks have left me a bit on the empty side.  The dramas and traumas just since April 1st have left me being speech- less all the way to having so many words that I can’t manage to get them to make any sense when I try to write .

And after yesterday’s news of the Bombings in Boston, I am even more lacking for anything of importance to say for sure!

But one early morning after speaking to my niece-in-law Kim on the phone, they started coming back to me.

Propped up in my bed,  I picked up one of the devotional books I had lying next to me. Reading that particular days text, a verse from the Bible stated: Jesus said to him, “Assuredly I say to you, today you will be with ME in Paradise.”

After reading Jesus words, lots of my own words were now flowing through my mind as I began to cry and smile at the same time.

Crying from sadness in not being able to hang out with him anymore yes, but also because I now knew that my nephew who had just passed away that morning, was out of his misery.  He had suffered a long time and had been ready to go home to be with his Lord for some time.

And the smile on my face was due to the Bible verse I had just read.  God had given me that verse to comfort me.  He had done a small thing with great love in giving me those words just at the perfect moment. I now had the promise that Alan was with Jesus. I even envisioned them together shaking hands, as He welcomed Alan into His Kingdom.

Next I began to think of Alan’s wife Kim, and at the same time Mother Theresa’ words, “Do Small Things with Great Love” came to mind.

Kim married my nephew after having been distant from each other for their whole adult life. They had been childhood sweethearts and were re-united after my sister, Diane went home to heaven to be with Jesus a little over 3 years ago.  Meeting up again at her grave-side service.

Kim and Alan quickly fell into head-over-heels love with each other again!

This is remarkable to me because Kim knew when she and Alan got back together, that he was sick.  She knew how serious his illness was, but wanted to be together no matter how little or long time they had.

There also was the issue of him living in Kentucky and she here in California.  But that didn’t stop them and this coming August they will have been married for two years!

In this age of self-centered, me, me, me-ness, I have seen Kim be oh-so self-less in her love for Alan. So in these final months of his life, she has been literally his everything and then some.

If you’ve ever taken care of an extremely sick and possibly dying person you can envision what this exact kind of attention looks like.  It is no small thing, but at times the smallest dab of a tissue to a loved ones mouth is a great act to them.

to be continued……

 

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All Skate!!

Posted on April 4, 2013 by

 

It’s a tough thing, getting back to writing when it’s been months.  It’s somehow equal to years and years of not riding a bike or roller skating.  It’s scary, and you think why bother?

It reminds me of a few years ago when I decided to plan my own birthday celebration.

You see I’d had it in my head for a long while to gather my whole family to go roller skating together; and so we did.  As the day drew near, I became more and more excited about it.  It was even my actual birthday day! And everyone was coming.  My husband, our 5 children and their kiddos, all 6 of them!

Arriving at the Roller Rink, as I took it all in, it was as if nothing had changed.  And nothing had! The snack bar was in the same place (as well as the options on the menu!) as was the skate booth and restrooms. Even that familiar scent of 0′de sox.  You see, it had been at least eighteen or so years since I been there.

And easily that long since I’d had on a pair of skates. As I laced up the lovely navy blue boots my adrenaline pumped and my nerves started in.

In times past I have had many situations where my anxiety got the better of me.  In my old life (as I’ll reference my pre clean and sober days) I would have taken my idea of roller skating and dashed it to the ground, killing it before it could grow up to be a plan, then digging a deep hole inside my psyche, bury it, never to be thought of again!

But not today!

Today being clean and sober over 3 years now I grab a hold of activities and ideas like roller skating, ask God to bless them and see if they will fly.  After all I did just celebrate my fifty-sixth birthday and may only have a few more good years to make up for all those “oh, I can’t” years.

So as far as writing goes, just as when I laced up my skates and proceeded to toddle across that musty smelling old and worn carpet, I begin here with this simple blog post.

Maybe it’s a bit weak in the content and wobbly in it’s verbiage, but I’m here.  I’ve suited up (if you consider jammies a working wardrobe) and I’ve shown up (as they say in the world of AA) I’ve tossed aside all the reasons for not posting today.  And I begin again.

Nothing to impressive or profound, but I am here and here I’ll be, hopefully more days than not to share with you what God lays on my heart.

I know that God will always be here for me as I write. Just as I trusted Him the day I entered rehab, and the day I laced up those skates, I will trust Him for the words that I blog for you my cyber friends!

Oh, and by the way, we had an amazing time skating that day!  And I didn’t fall, not even a wobble!  The Lord held my hand and I know He won’t let me down in this either.

“And it is well with my soul.”

Posted in Alcolhol, Family, God, Living LIfe, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, Prescription Drugs, Recovery | 4 Comments

Where in the world would I go?

Posted on January 25, 2013 by

A peaceful, small mountain community in the Rockies. Hopefully my home would be surrounded by pine trees, but not too dense as to let the sunshine through. There would be a body of water I could glimpse out my windows. And paths for walking into town close by. I’d choose this because it’s a vision my husband and I have had for 30+ years. We’ve never made this dream become a reality yet, so answering this question, this is where I’d go. Hopefully we’d be able to stay for a lot longer than one year too!

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Four Top Items and a Fifth!

Posted on January 21, 2013 by

If I had to leave my home in a hurry the items I would take would be:  I’m assuming I already have the living breathing items, such as my husband, daughter and dog:-)) After that I think it would be my computer, my phone, my purse, my Bible and a blanket. Everything else I need is in one of these first four. The blanket would be my temporary comfort and shelter.

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No More Noise!

Posted on January 14, 2013 by

I think I’d give up my hearing. I am easily distracted by sounds and noise. Too much makes me anxious and not able to concentrate. I get frustrated by it, especially when I’m trying to write!

If something is too loud it literally hurts deep in my ear canal. I like quiet and don’t mind stillness. I wear earplugs to bed and enjoy the dull, hum like sound in my head to fall asleep by.

I think as a child there was too much ugly noise in my life and so now I enjoy things calm, peaceful and quiet.

Yes, my hearing could go.

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Heady with a side of dirt.

Posted on January 14, 2013 by

This would be my favorite perfume scent: Musk, Patchouli and Vanilla. Deep, Robust and Heady, With a soft side of Plummeria, Lavender and Gardenia. It makes me feel at home and comfortable while at the same time wanted in a sensual way. Earthy yet sensible and sober. My all time favorite scent is a perfume I found at the Fragonard Perfumery in France. It’s called Miranda and it’s always on my gifts wanted list.

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Sorting Through the Wrappings and Trappings of Another Year Gone By (part 2)

Posted on January 1, 2013 by

TODAY I prayed:

“Lord show me today, this first day of this new year, what you would have for me. Inspire and guide me with your loving direction for today and for this year. Give me your heart and eyes for others. Give me ears to hear your calling and direction.

Here I am dear Jesus. Your sister and your friend.

Lord I know with you empowering me, I am more than able to do great things in your name. God my Father, I love you and I trust your wisdom for my life.  So today on this January 1st of 2013, Lord I commit myself, I dedicate my being and I surrender my will to all you have for me to do and to be!

Here I am Lord, your servant is listening. Your will not mine be done. Amen”

AND with my prayers, my bittersweet emotions for what is past, turns to a new enthusiasm for what lies ahead.

Resolving to keep my eyes on Jesus. I know with confidence that where ever and what ever God brings me to, that He most definitely will bring me through.

AND I know that 2013 is going to be an amazing year!

And it is very well with my soul:-)

To you, that so kindly read my posts, the very best wishes and blessings be to you in this new year as well!!

 

Posted in God, Jesus, Living LIfe, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, My Likes, Prayer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments