The Saga of the Backwards “L”– The Last Entry

“We have a natural curiosity about our selves. We want to know whether our self-image is the true one. We often think we are capable of seeing another’s true nature, but we seem to lack the ability to really know ourselves. In fact so much about us reveals our disposition and that it can be distressing.” Author- joyce sequichie hifler

Breaking your ankle in 3 places while also dislocating it at the same time will kind of force your hand at having to take some time out for introspection.

It’ll be 5 full months on January 4th since it happened. 3 of the months I spent living in our down stairs guest room all alone for hours on end with only myself. And God of course present as he always is in my life.

He was very present I’d have to say! It seems He allowed my fall to only be the start of a hard tumble into my psyche. Who I am and who He wants me to be was revealed in not so gentle of ways sometimes.

But as my wonderful Dr. Peng kept telling me. I just kept “Trusting in the Lord,” as well as being still and waiting. And in that waiting I learned some wonderful things that I am happy about in regards to myself though; so it wasn’t all painful:)

One being that I am “a good patient and mostly not demanding”; as my hubbie will attest to saying one day when I was feeling very much like a burden to him.

But in light of the new year beginning tomorrow, with all its new chances to ‘do and be better’ I want to admit to being too self-focused this past year and especially these last 5 months.

This past year of 2014 will go down in my history archives as one of the worst. For us at least. No need to recall, just trust me on this fact:)). So it’s no surprise that God allowed it all to show me the errors of my ways along with the good.

He revealed some hard stuff of most I won’t share, but I do want to say to anyone who might feel I was overly self-focused which God showed me I was; and so to you that I
Didn’t give the attention you deserved.
Didn’t share with you how special I think you are.
Didn’t pray for you enough.
Didn’t call, email or text.
Didn’t send a Bday card or acknowledge your specialness in some way, or any other neglectful way, that I am sorry!!!

So with that being said, with all the opportunities there are to celebrate; I plan on being more about others and less about me in this wonderful new year that starts tonight as the bells toll and the pans bang:))

I want to share this lovely poem I was drawn to recently. I think it says exactly how I feel about each and everyone of you who I call family and friends.

“Each time I hear the ringing bells and Auld Lang Syne, I sigh.
Another year has slipped away and I haven’t told you why you’ve meant so much to me in moments that we’ve shared.

You gave me courage to go on when I thought nobody cared.
I’ve seen you smile when tears were near.
I’ve felt your courage where there could be fear.
I’ve heard your honesty when the false pressed hard.
And your joys and love, hate could not retard.

There must be times when there are concealed feelings and thoughts you have not revealed.
But in the New Year I promise to be more thoughtful of you and more conscious of me. (The self absorbed and focused me)
Time knows no other than to slip gently away, but Happy New Years, my child (my family and friends) shall be yours every day! author unknown

So as the scars on the 2 sides of my ankle fade away (nicely I might add) and 2014 disappear from one day to the next, please look into your hearts and see what God did allow and for what lesson it was for you in light of your past year. Then take what you’ve gleaned into 2015 as a new exciting challenge for your own New Years opportunities to do and be a better brighter you:)). To be all God has designed and purposed for you to be.

And in closing to this series and in opening the unknown new, I want to say a huge thank you to express my gratitude to all who supported and helped me (us) get through this past year. I couldn’t have done it without all of YOU:))))!!!!! You are loved very much.

And once again, it is very well with my soul!

Posted in Change, Family, God, Grandkiddos, Kids, Methods for Doing Life, My Hubby, Pain, Prayer, Recovery, Who Debi is | 2 Comments

And (again) more from the Backwards “L” Saga


“Wow! We didn’t see that one coming.  After all hadn’t he said, ‘…only 4 months recovery?'”


Last time I wrote I mentioned re-booking our Hawaii trip; which I did:)))

And then: Re-booking and canceling (again) all in one fell swoop of a weeks time left me more than a little depressed:(((

This is one of the reasons I haven’t posted here let alone written anything worth mentioning since my last entry in October.

It had been only 2 days after my last posting as well as our re-booking of above mentioned trip to Hawaii, when on October 8th Skip and I went to see Dr. Peng. We were full of excitement as we thought he would be releasing me to start walking with my boot! But my appointment left us shocked and so very disappointed (again).

An extra long time at the docs office, complete with a dressing down by Dr. Peng about how  “We just heard what we wanted to hear” and “I know I told you your recovery would be a full 6 months till you would wear both your shoes again,” left me so very done with my plight. 

Honestly with Skip and I always, the both of us at the appointments listening one for the other, (so we wouldn’t miss anything He told us) still to this day has us believing it truly was the good docs mistake that led us to believing that I could walk and snorkel my way through the beautiful land and waters of Maui this coming January 2015 and to re-booking the trip!

But it was not to be.  No matter who said what or heard what, it doesn’t change the fact that as of today we do not have that wonderful and much-needed trip planned.

And on top of my ankle issue since I last wrote, we have had some other disappointing news that will keep us (even after I am released) from re-re-booking our trip for who knows how long:(((

As the Summer has turned into Fall it has also become cooler in more ways than one. And my sadness has been the blanket I’ve tried to use to keep me warm.

I’ve tried this whole time since breaking my ankle this past August 4th to stay in a good mood. Trying to be positive and look for the productive reasons I am in this situation.  Trying to stubbornly “figure it all out on my own.”

Unfortunately sadness and depression aren’t really very comforting or warm.  And they both end up turning into an ugly expression of who a person really is. One that can stick like crazy glue to ones mind and thought processes.  And these two emotions certainly melded my senses and sensibilities.

Today as I was spending my daily quiet time with my Lord Jesus, I read a Proverb in my Bible that I don’t remember ever running across before. It reads:

“If you get more stubborn every time you are corrected, one day you will be crushed and NEVER RECOVER.” Proverbs 29:1 Good News Bible

And if that wasn’t alarming enough personally someone else came to my mind as I read this. As I thought about this person and the particular situation it rocked my thinking. I envisioned this person NEVER getting this Truth; and what would happen in their life because of it.  It is scary and devastating to say the least!!!

While that particular scenario is extreme to think about, there are circumstances and issues that are present everyday that if we don’t change our minds about, could just as easily set a course for the “Too Late Land” of ……!  You fill in the blank.

I don’t know what your sticking point is nor do I know how many you have; but I look back and see the possibility: That Skip and I did only “hear what we wanted to hear” way back in the beginning of my ankle saga.

And I can now see how differently I might have felt and acted had we based our plans on that truth.

For that I can only speculate, but based on my stubbornness in playing the victim recently, I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I hadn’t just days ago given  God my thought life; (again), asking Him to clearly show me the errors of my ways about issues that had come up, that I would have set myself up to never recover emotionally and possibly figuratively as well! 

Having gone through this type of surrendering in my past I read that scripture and quickly repented, because I know it is in giving up your “my way or the highway” attitude is the ONLY righteous way to go. It is the ONLY way that reaps peaceful rewards.

I have seen the bottom of “Woe-is-Me Well” several times and I have been at the peak of  “Sober and Sane Mountain” too and I’m here still today because I keep choosing God’s path and not what my stupid head tells me!!

I might not be in Hawaii or anywhere other than my couch much, but I feel the peace of mind and heart that comes from following God to the freedom that comes ONLY from following His paths.

Freedom from:

  • Depression
  • Remorse
  • Insanity
  • Addiction
  • Sadness
  • Regret
  • Loneliness
  • Shame
  • Hopelessness
  • Sickness
  • Pain

If your life isn’t the life you want now, take a look at your own thoughts. Are they sticking in stubbornness? Are you still trying to do it all in your own way? What are the results? Do you feel the peace that ONLY choosing Gods path can bring or not?

If not maybe this is unfortunately waiting for you:

“Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.” Proverbs 20:1 New Living Translation

“For people who hate discipline and only get more stubborn, there’ll come a day when life tumbles in and they break; but by then it’ll be too late to help them.” Proverbs 29:1 The Message Bible

If so, please choose today to turn to the God who determined you to be born and created you to live a life that ONLY works when you work it HIS WAY!  Review your life past and present. Ask God to reveal to you those times you are stubbornly self involved only thinking of the path YOU want to take or stay on. Think of the things you ruminate and relent over. These are the things He wants you to let loose of.

Do so before that day comes when your sticking point takes you to the brink of  that “No Return Land.”

Ask Jesus in His name to help you out of your “Woe-is-Me Well.” He will do it! Ask Him to show you the way you should go and the right answers will be there. You WILL be blessed and happy for it! Gods peace is only a surrender away.

“And it is so…. very well with my soul!”







Posted in Bible, Change, God, Jesus, Living LIfe, Marriage, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, My Hubby, Pain, Prayer, Purposeful Posts, Recovery, Travel, Who Debi is | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Through to the Other Side of Crazy–3



As I sat with my daughter in her car that cold January day, it became clear to me that by my coming clean to her I was marking this place in time with a very defining line.

And there was no going back after I answered her hard question of: “Had I ever watched the kiddos under the influence or driven them in an inebriated state. Anything short of complete and total honesty would not be acceptable, so I answered, my head hanging low, “yes.” That was all I could say and all she needed to hear.

She told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever wanted to care for my grandchildren again I was to get help for my problems. She was very calm, cool and collected about it all. She even stated very clearly and in no uncertain terms that she would tell my son and daughter-in-love of what I had just revealed to her; if I didn’t let them know myself and soon!!!

God has an interesting way of getting His way with us. Here I thought I was just simply giving up on living and would eventually end up sick like my sister and die an early death too. But He obviously had other plans for me.

As I am recalling this pivotal time in all of our lives, the next thing I recall was a scene I still have etched in my mind that I know will never leave me:

It was of my husband and I as we sat on the bench, on the porch of the house, that would soon become my second home. This being the residential detox and rehabilitation facility called The Ashland House.

Here I was, again leaving home to care for someone. But this time that person was me. For the next thirty days my focus would be only on myself and the job of getting clean, sober and healthy.

This new reality would become the new and much improved “Debi project.


I don’t know what was racing faster, as we sat there waiting for nine o’clock to come; the thoughts in my head or my heart.  Nervous and anxious does not do justice to how I felt in that moment. I was entering a strange place with no idea what to expect. I would be there for thirty days!

But there was Peace beyond all my understanding. I was ready for this new unknown and I knew God wanted me there. My family wanted me there.  For the first time in a very long time, I felt hope for my future. I was ready!

All I could think was, “This is my last shot at figuring me out and I have to do it, because if I don’t I will lose everything and everyone I love!!!”

This time I would “change” for real. This time will be different than all those other times I tried to change and failed.

And it was!

I had not been clean and/or sober for so many years I couldn’t even figure it out accurately in the beginning, but everyday I was there it became clearer and clearer as the fog lifted from my messed up head. I became healthier. I could see what I had done and the pain I had caused.

In those thirty amazing days I discovered that:

  • I was wrong.
  • I had done bad things that were insane.
  • I was a very sick girl.
  • In finally realizing those truths about myself  it put me on a new path to real peace and happiness.
  • I was safe here at Ashland and I could be sane again. 
  • I discovered the Debi that God had designed her to be.
  • I was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

During my time at the Ashland Home I also I realized I wasn’t alone in my crazy thinking and insane compulsive behaviors. There were other sick girls here and we were all on this journey of self discovery together.  I had a disease. I had an addictive personality, with symptoms and character defects that were common among us all.

It was truly liberating to understand why I did the things I did. Why I was the way I was. It was all such a crazy experience. But this was the good kind of crazy!!!

The other amazing thing I found was that God still loved me and that even though I’d walked away from Him, He was still there with open arms ready to show me how much He loved me. During those thirty days He would guide me through daily journaling, devotional times, tons of praying and our 3 required AA meetings a day, to become the woman I had always searched to be but could never find.

It seemed that for my whole life I longed to be this woman after God’s own heart. I had always desired to be the wife and mother and now grandmother that I knew existed and that I saw lived out in other women I admired. I so wanted that life.  And I did try.  I just hadn’t found that last missing piece to the puzzle that was my life. But now it all made sense!

All the things I learned and re-learned in those thirty days about life, myself and God helped put my broken life back together. I learned to really like the person God had designed me to be. I realized that if I stopped blaming everyone and everything, that life was then in the right perspective. This was huge because now I knew that I was to blame.  In taking ownership of that fact I could really make the necessary progress I needed to make.

I clearly saw the work I had to do in gaining back the trust I’d lost in myself and that my family had lost in me. While at the same time prove the kind of life I’d only dreamed of having, but was learning was possible.

Today I am strong, stable, sane and most definitely sober.  Today I am ever-growing and changing. I plan on continuing this path in life for as long as God sees fit to keep here on this earth. Today I want to live. I am a new creation, who’s been born again, into this woman God designed me to be from the time I was conceived.

The journey of my life has been a long and winding one. But with each new adventure I get to experience on this sober and healthy trip called life I get to experience a new aspect of who I am truly meant to be.  Today, I am a new wife, a new mother and the grandmother to my family I always dreamed of being.  I am a better friend and colleague to those I work with. I am an encourager and sponsor to help others on their journeys through life.

I love my life; and for today at least I am mostly sane:))  And to stay that way I’ve learned that the “Debi Project” will never end.

For we are ever evolving as the people God intends us to be.  We should never stop listening to His still small voice, because there will always be something He wants to refine in us. And that’s good. It’s OK!!! Hearing from God should be desired, no matter how smart or sane you think you are.

God has most assuredly saved me from that sinking ship I was going down in and He continues to reveal to me more of what He wants to refine and polish in me daily. It is a life worth living for sure and I never want to turn around or go back to whence I came.

And today It is very well with MY soul!

Posted in Alcolhol, Change, God, Grandkiddos, Marriage, Me--Debi, My Hubby, Pain, Prescription Drugs, Recovery | 2 Comments

And More from the Backwards “L” Saga

“She’s been here now for going on 4 days!!  I tell my husband. “It seems strange to me that she’d still be around but I guess she’s not hurting anything by staying. After all Anabelles been having fun with her and she seems to really like it here, so why not let her stay till she’s ready to go.”

Two months ago the drama and trauma that comes with breaking your ankle in 3 places began.  And now I’ve been out of my hard cast for almost 2 weeks now and hopefully Dr. Peng will release me this next appointment to start putting weight on my healing foot and walk again with 2 legs.

Then I’ll be able to retire my ride.  Although I’ve become very attached to my scooter, and it’ll be scary to retire her to the garage,  I am ready, yet again to begin another phase of this very long journey.

A journey that began with anger and sadness for all I thought I’d lost, has turned into more of a peaceful retreat of sorts. I’ve spent lots of lovely times praying, reading, writing and listening to that still small voice of God. I’ve also spent a lot of the time being still and waiting to hear from Him in regards to all my “why and what now” questions. And I am happy to say that a few of those questions were answered as my time rolled along these last months.

One morning during my quiet time God led me to list the things that I’ve discovered and experienced during these down days of recovery. Turns out the list was longer than I thought it would be. Here are a few highlights of my time:

  • I’ve had visitors. Some more than others; which is a major blessing to know who you really matter to. Then there were some I thought would call or come by, but nothing. This is the saddest realization I’ve had during this time:(((
  • I’ve become a much more compassionate and thoughtful person with a ton more patience. Especially spending a bit more time on FB, I’ve read what others life situations are like and have decided my situation has nothing on most! It’s given me perspective. This has given me the opportunity of having more folks to pray for:))
  • I’ve become more grateful for the little and simple things in life.
  • My hubby and I have fallen into what some would call an “old folks” rhythm. Eating in front of the TV has been apart of that. But we are ready to move back to a more advanced way of dining as soon as the elevation thing isn’t as important anymore and I again have 2 good legs to use.
  • I’ve grown more in love with said hubby Skip; and appreciate him so…. much more than I think I ever have!!! He has been chief cook and dog walker extraordinaire. I can’t wait to be able to wait on him again:)
  • I’ve exceeded my own expectations for my tolerance for pain.  And that after almost 5 years of sobriety I am proud to say that I am still as dry and clean as before this began!!!  This is huge for me and a real testament to relying on God’s strength and power to get me through some hard days and nights.
  • I’ve been available to listen to those that needed an ear and a shoulder to cry on: Seems people think since you are “off your feet” with only time on your hands that you are there for them. Which I loved that I was available! Through this situation God allowed me to be that listening ear and shoulder; and I am still being blessed by such people today!
  • I gained a new appreciation for exercise, since all that mine consists of is prone position leg lifts and foot rolls.  I am looking forward to more intense work outs like walking:)
  • I planned and re-booked our Hawaiian vacation of which we are looking very forward to.  Yippy!!

AND the most exciting is that I have spent quality time making new friends like “She.” You remember her from my opening paragraph right?

“She” was a fly that got into our house and actually lived for 4 days. Yes, the same fly!  “She” just kept hanging around and so she kind of grew on me. “She” continuously kept Anabelle busy by trying to catch her. She was courteous as flys go, never buzzing by your ear or landing in your food. She’d sit politely near by watching you eat, but not annoyingly so. But she is gone now, having drowned in Anabelles water bowl.

And so to complete my list of what I discovered and experienced:

  • I befriended a fly;  then regaled Skip with the days tales of “She,” me and Anabelle for 4 days in a row!!!! He laughed hysterically as I told him about her death.  “What’s so funny about that I thought?” Then almost spitting said to me, “You know you’ve spent too much time cooped up recouping, when you’ve had fun with, and talked to, a fly for 4 days running!!!” Ok, so you’d had to have been there. It really was prime time funny:))
  • And lastly that I am a bit nuts, but that’s ok because it makes life fun and sometimes makes other laugh. Although it be at you sometimes:((((

Yep! I’m done with all this sitting around talking to flys. I’ve loved the time I’ve had to grow closer to the Lord and closer with friends old and new; but I’m ready to move on to more out-going kinds of activities, like taking a walk outside.

And hey, how about driving a car again?!

And so that is my update and though I still miss “She,”  it is well with my soul:))))


Posted in Alcolhol, Bible, Change, God, Living LIfe, Me--Debi, My Hubby, Pain, Pets, Prayer, Prescription Drugs, Reading, Recovery, Who Debi is | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What’s the Question?


Just a quick but powerful read. One I opened up to in Mike Erre’s newest book-Astonished, this morning as I cried out to God another of those, “Why Lord?” questions.


“God takes us to places where we can’t figure it out or depend on our resources or intelligence. He does it because he wants us to trust Him, not our formulas, spiritual disciplines or knowledge of the Bible. He draws us onward using the acute sense of limitation and sorrow we feel. To bring us to the place where we “don’t know and can’t see” so that we’ll reach for Him and grab hold of Him after there is no other place to turn.”  Mike Erre-Astonished

Where do you find yourself in this today?  What why questions are you asking God to answer?

Are you wanting to reach out and take a hold of God’s welcoming hand and walk with Him through whatever it is you are going through?

The Bible teaches to seek, and that you shall find all you need. But you have to take the Lords hand and let Him lead you.

“KNOW GOD AND KNOW PEACE and answers.  NO GOD AND NO PEACE or answers.” dw 

I don’t have the answers yet that I need to some of my inquiries, but I trust God to lead me to them. Won’t you?

IT is WELL with my soul, how’s yours today?

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More from the Backwards “L” Saga

 “I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.” Jeremiah 33:6


They Say, it takes “twenty-one days a habit to make.” Well this my twentieth day of practicing the “toes-above-the-nose” lifestyle.  I’m almost to the mark. Yippy! But now that I am those twenty days in, I’ve decided that maybe joining my hubby at his 6 am boot camp classes, with the trainer from hell would be easier than dealing with this broken-in-multiple-places-ankle. At least twenty-one days of that torture would possibly have produced some stronger tighter abs and thigh muscles!  All I have now is multiple scars, misaligned hips (from driving my knee scooter from the bed or couch to the bathroom) and one very saggy calf muscle:(

Truth be told this is actually day twenty-two in the books, but I don’t really count the first two days of this, my latest trauma, because sleeping was about the only thing I did those first hours.

And then on day three, I met the most amazing doctor I’ve ever come to know.  Dr. Peng.  Doctor-toes-above-the-nose-Peng!

It wasn’t until this day that I actually saw the damage I’d done in the fall; saw and heard how long the healing would take; and saw THE cast. Dr Peng’s “Magic Cast!” Large isn’t a descriptive enough word for the size of this thing. Everyone I’d talked to during the course of discovering this godsend of a man kept talking about his “Magic Cast.” Now seeing it on my foot, all I could say was, Wow!!!

The next thing I learned was what a godly and prayerful man Dr. Peng is. I saw that first day that He was going to be the perfect doc for me! He is a man who speaks right to my heart through his firm, yet kind and gentle ways.

His fatherly methods and true concern for me remind me of my Father God. The Lord of my life that always knows what’s best for me. It doesn’t matter if I don’t want it or like it; God my Father always has the bigger-and-better-down-the-road-picture in His sights. And He’s patient with me even when I’m bucking His methods.

He simply repeats over and over till I believe Him, “Be still, trust me. Be still and know that I am God.”

From that first day, when Dr. Peng chose to begin his day earlier than he had to, to fit me in, I knew there was something special and different about this doctor. As we shook hands “Hello,” it was as if he was saying in that moment that he cared about me. Gently squeezing my hand as he consoled the distraught mess that I was. He then, while holding both of my hands, looked me directly in the eyes and said:

“Trut in the Looord. Do you trut in the Looord?”

He continued to stare into my tear filled eyes as if waiting for an answer.  So I said through sobs, that “Yes, yes I did.” He then stood up tall and said, “then trust me!”

And so began my treatment with Dr. Peng, even praying with Skip and I right before they wheeled me away for surgery!

So far his methods have been spot on with his “Magic Cast!” Just like he told me, I have had no real pain to speak of since about day three after the surgery. He also informed me that I would only need to use ibuprofen and acetaphetamine for whatever pain I did have. He told us that if he had his way, he’d never write another script for narcotics. Rather, prescribing lots of rest and prayer!

I often hear in my head, with that obviously Chinese inflection, Dr. Peng repeating his favorite combo statement/question:  “Trut in the Looord. Do you trut in the Looord?”

Hearing him in my head on a regular basis, has come in handy, as I am a recovering alcoholic/addict.  And with my additional lower back pain issues, pain medication could be an issue for me.  So I listen to that voice and say a quick prayer to the Lord to help get me through whatever discomfort I am in. The Lord has me covered even in these little details.  He knew I’d be better off with an orthopedic physician that wasn’t  heavy-handed with the drugs:))

Just like God my Father is always there for me, Dr. Peng, seems to be there very often as well, with personal calls to both Skip and I the night before the surgery, to make sure we were ok and ready for the big day. Mentioning at the end of the conversation to, “Trut in the Looord and all will be fine.” He called again the evening after my surgery as he was driving home. “Just checking to make sure everything is going good. That you are keeping your foot up right?” I give him an update and tell him thanks for calling.  He says “get some sleep and keep truting the Looord!”

How many doctors do that?! I have been and will continue to be truly blessed in having Dr. Peng as my physician. I do trust him and his thirty-five years of working on feet and ankles to care for me, to teach me new habits, to bring the healing to my ankle that there needs to be. No matter the several screws and plates that hold it together. No matter the number of days I have to keep my “toes-above-my-nose.” I trust him.

Another thing the good doc reminded me of, is that now I have lots of precious time to spend with Jesus. Time to rest in His loving arms, letting Him sooth me, teach me and love me.

But, I can’t seem to relax. I’ve been pretty antsy much of these last days trying to figure out all of those, “Why did this happen” questions. Anxious to know, “So now what Lord? What’s this time for? what do you want me to do? what can I accomplish? Etc etc.” 

Well after only about fifteen of these last twenty-two days of whining to Him, I think I know! After all these days of developing the physical disciplines that need to be in place in order for my ankle to be renewed, I think I now know what God has whispered in His always gentle voice to me about how He wants me to spend the rest of my recovery months.

But not wanting to run ahead of God and declare to the world my new resolution or anything, I cautiously yet confidently after hearing the Lord’s leading to do so, went back over the last days journal entries since my accident. I did so carefully knowing what had happened in my past when I thought I knew what God was telling me to do, and it ended up not even being close! I slowly and prayerfully looked for a pattern in all I had written in my journal. In all the points and scriptures that had jumped out at me. Not wanting to assume anything or hand-pick my will and not God’s, I spent a few days going back to those scriptures and spent more time praying about what it all could mean.

As I did so, I also heard Dr. Peng’s recognizable voice in my head saying, “Trut in the Looord.” I then circled all the words and phrases that I’d noted multiple times. It turned out there weren’t any patterns that spelled out to do anything. No get busy kind of phrases. But there seemed to be a prescription to “Be still and know that I am God.” To wait quietly before Him. That my hope and my peace were in Him alone. Over and over were the words: WAIT, BE STILL, PEACE.

I recognize this method of recovery. I’d done it before. I think in all the drama and trauma of these last weeks, I kind of lost that stillness and peace. That trust in Gods will.

I don’t know what my Father, my God will teach me during these next weeks of continued healing, but I know it will be exciting to be still. To wait and watch what He does. I’m sure on the other side of all this I will undoubtedly be impressed with what ever ‘it’ is that He’s taught me; that what ever we’ve come through together will have been life changing!

I know my ankle will heal, but the rest of these next few months I have no idea about all that will occur. But I do know one thing for sure. I will,  “Trut in the Looord!!”

“And it is VERY well with my soul!!”

Posted in Alcolhol, Bible, Change, God, Jesus, Living LIfe, Me--Debi, Methods for Doing Life, My Hubby, Pain, Prayer, Prescription Drugs, Purposeful Posts, Reading, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Backwards “L” Saga

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will NEVER leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth.” John 14:16-17a.

“My back! No! Not my back.” These were the first frantically panicking thoughts I had yesterday as I tripped and toppled down the last of the three steps of the stairs that lead to my hubby and I’s master suite.  

I’d been having severe problems with my back and had very recently received a pain blocking epidural to be free of the constant pain (if just for awhile) that has plagued me since having two falls in a six month period, a little over two years ago.

My my back seems fine, but the recent term ‘cankle’ did nothing in describing my “deformed” ankle. The paramedics used that term during their assessment of my injury. 

My description would be more that of a fat backwards letter “L.” Not pretty at all! 

As I sit here now, my leg propped up in my “toes above the nose” position, I can’t help replay the whole embarrassing, excruciatingly painful and mostly maddening scene.  

As I lie there in the hallway, now strewn with the last of the laundry and other trip necessaries that I’d knocked off the stairs as I went down, I remember looking at that very ugly ankle thinking, “No Lord, no!!!”

It was in that moment that I realized what had just happened, wasn’t a dream scene re-enactment of one of the medical emergency shows I watch now and again. No, this was real life and this looked serious.

In that moment sounds came out of me that I only remember making one other time in my life. Sounds so guttural and agonizing, I didn’t even recognize my own voice!  With the sounds then came the swearing and the pounding of the carpet. I now knew this was real and that this would probably at least, delay our travels to Hawaii.

The two week, very badly needed vacation Skip and I had planned, and worked for, for month. Now possibly over before it started:(((

This morning in my Charles Stanley devotional I read this sentence. “The Holy Spirit is intimately involved in our life. He is more a part of us than our bones and blood. We are privileged to have a divine Helper guiding us on the path of God’s will.”

Then after another out-of-body experience; that of riding in an ambulance as the actual victim and then spending my time in the ER hallway, (“Busiest day ever.”) we got the news that I feared the most. No, not, “You broke your ankle in three places.” Nor, “You’ll have to have surgery; but not for a week.” But, “You won’t be going to Hawaii!!”  This was the worst news ever!

Well, at least that is how I felt as I looked up at my now, sad, husbands face:((

Plans scrapped we started moving ahead. Crutches and the dreaded pain med prescription (narcotics are not the best thing in the hands of an almost five year sober and finally (I think) sane individual) in hand we went home:(( 

Today as I thought more and more about the intimacy of the Holy Spirit, and that He is more apart of me than any of the physical, I am confident that my bones, nor my sinew, nor my flesh aren’t what makes me who I am. Rather it’s God’s Spirit alive in me that counts. His Spirit alive in me that guides. That He’s always there for me. That the Holy Spirit is my helper and that over these next weeks of this, my new journey, He will be teaching me and showing me Gods will for me.

It evidently wasn’t in Gods divine plan for us to go (at least now) to the Islands. But maybe it’s in His plan to use this time for something bigger. Something even more exciting. Maybe it’s some truth the Holy Spirit will lead me into.

We’ll just wait on Him and see:)

                                   And yes, believe it or not, it is well with my soul:)

Posted in Change, God, Holy Spirit, Living LIfe, Marriage, My Hubby, Pain, Prescription Drugs, Travel | 2 Comments


The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper that is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18


                             What does it mean to be a helper to your husband?

Don’t help him the way YOU THINK he should be helped, but the way YOU KNOW him to need help.

Ask him:). But with a quiet and gentle spirit. 1 Peter 3:4

Allow him to be honest and tell you without editing, correcting or interjecting your opinions of how HE needs YOUR help:)

Then prayerfully ask GOD to help YOU help the MAN YOU love:))))


And it is VERY well with MY soul!   How’s yours today?

Posted in Bible, Change, God, Living LIfe, Marriage, Methods for Doing Life, My Hubby, Recovery | Leave a comment

The Gift of Yourself

“Just because you are in someone’s presence, does not mean you are present”.


Today. Where ever you are, whoever you are with, be there.

TRULY be there:))))

It is well with my soul.  How is yours doing?

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Let’s Be Clear

“The prudent (wise) understand where they are going and what they are doing. But a fool deceives themself.”

Anxiety and Confusion come and make camp in our minds and hearts when we mix-up what we want with what we need.  Pray for the wisdom to know the difference and find peace that flows like a river.


                         It IS very well with my soul today!

Posted in Change, God, Living LIfe, Marriage, Methods for Doing Life, Purposeful Posts, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments