Continued to Take Personal Inventory and , When I WAS Wrong, Promptly Admitted it!!
After my bitter-sweet, up and down time with my nephews passing and my honeys anniversary gift, you’d think my next few days would have been easy or at least quiet.
But no God had other plans for me…..
Usually when you hear the quote from Mother Theresa about doing small things with great love, we think of the poor, the destitute and maybe even the disenfranchised. But I would like to have you consider that if we do things with great love for anyone and everyone; maybe, just maybe we wouldn’t have so many who are poor, destitute and disenfranchised!
The point at which I really noticed this quote in reference to anyone other than these people groups, was only last week. And I’d like to challenge you to think of those closest to you.
Maybe like me it’s your husband that comes to mind. Maybe it’s your child or a close friend.
My husband Skip only recently has discovered a new thing in his life, that he’d been having a tough time understanding and maneuvering; but it is something that I have had experience with. So wanting to be the helpful wife that I am; the not so perfectly worded (I try) side of me came out.
Suffice it to say, it was not one of my better moments. I was definitely more brusque in my delivery than sensitive and more dictatorial than sincere as I stood over him, hands on my hips, alternating with wagging pointer finger, with just the slightest of raised voices (not!)
Let’s just say that it was “one of those nights.” Now I know none of you has ever had a time when you’ve lost control of yourselves; but I did.
Sure, we could chalk it up to an over load of stress. Or grief over losing my nephew. Or I could have used some lame excuse like, “I’m just soooo tiieerd!” Or if I wasn’t 7 years in to Menopause I could have blamed it on it being “the time of the month.”
But truth be told it was none of these. I was just being selfish and cocky in my knowledge of what to do about “it”. I didn’t take into consideration the reality, of what He really was going through and how hard it had been on him. I didn’t think before I started talking about what I wanted to say to him.
The biggest thing I did not do, was I did not pray before.
I didn’t talk to the Lord about Skip’s situation. How my situations relate, what is the best way or time to talk with him about it or how I could help him get through this new territory he has to deal with.
I’ve been working a regular Twelve Step program for over 3 years now and I know a better way to do things. I just didn’t do what I knew to do right. My methods were the old Debi’s ways which never worked anyway and which I thank God everyday are mostly no more!
But the right thing I did do, was to grab a hold of my self-centered self and actively step back into sanity and do Step 5. I admitted to God, to myself and after all the unnecessary words and tears were over, I told Skip the exact nature of why I was wrong. Then I ask him to forgive me for being an insensitive jerk.
I told him he was right. (Yes, you can say it too.)
I told him I really did want to be the helper that God had created me to be for him. And that I would more readily consider what his needs were and be much more thoughtful, kind and graceful while we tackle this new thing in our lives together. I told him how very much I loved him and that we’d get through this, just like everything else, with God’s leading and one step at a time.
What does this have to do with the poor and destitute? Everything.
Sometimes we ourselves or someone else are the needy ones! In our spirits we are often lacking the vital necessity of being loved the way we need to be loved.
I wasn’t attentive to Skip’s need to be heard before being his helper. Like was mentioned in the quote from Small Things with Great Love — Part 2, I wasn’t being “understanding” of his needs before mine.
So in that way I wasn’t loving him the way he needed me to, small or otherwise!
Now when I do consider and look to understand his needs before my own, I will be doing small things, one at a time with great love.
And that will hopefully translate into many more small things that will grow into bigger and better things with greater and greater and greater love!!
And Love did cover a multitude of sins. And love, God’s love can conquer all!
And for today, it is once again well with my soul:-)