“We have a natural curiosity about our selves. We want to know whether our self-image is the true one. We often think we are capable of seeing another’s true nature, but we seem to lack the ability to really know ourselves. In fact so much about us reveals our disposition and that it can be distressing.” Author- joyce sequichie hifler
Breaking your ankle in 3 places while also dislocating it at the same time will kind of force your hand at having to take some time out for introspection.
It’ll be 5 full months on January 4th since it happened. 3 of the months I spent living in our down stairs guest room all alone for hours on end with only myself. And God of course present as he always is in my life.
He was very present I’d have to say! It seems He allowed my fall to only be the start of a hard tumble into my psyche. Who I am and who He wants me to be was revealed in not so gentle of ways sometimes.
But as my wonderful Dr. Peng kept telling me. I just kept “Trusting in the Lord,” as well as being still and waiting. And in that waiting I learned some wonderful things that I am happy about in regards to myself though; so it wasn’t all painful:)
One being that I am “a good patient and mostly not demanding”; as my hubbie will attest to saying one day when I was feeling very much like a burden to him.
But in light of the new year beginning tomorrow, with all its new chances to ‘do and be better’ I want to admit to being too self-focused this past year and especially these last 5 months.
This past year of 2014 will go down in my history archives as one of the worst. For us at least. No need to recall, just trust me on this fact:)). So it’s no surprise that God allowed it all to show me the errors of my ways along with the good.
He revealed some hard stuff of most I won’t share, but I do want to say to anyone who might feel I was overly self-focused which God showed me I was; and so to you that I
Didn’t give the attention you deserved.
Didn’t share with you how special I think you are.
Didn’t pray for you enough.
Didn’t call, email or text.
Didn’t send a Bday card or acknowledge your specialness in some way, or any other neglectful way, that I am sorry!!!
So with that being said, with all the opportunities there are to celebrate; I plan on being more about others and less about me in this wonderful new year that starts tonight as the bells toll and the pans bang:))
I want to share this lovely poem I was drawn to recently. I think it says exactly how I feel about each and everyone of you who I call family and friends.
“Each time I hear the ringing bells and Auld Lang Syne, I sigh.
Another year has slipped away and I haven’t told you why you’ve meant so much to me in moments that we’ve shared.
You gave me courage to go on when I thought nobody cared.
I’ve seen you smile when tears were near.
I’ve felt your courage where there could be fear.
I’ve heard your honesty when the false pressed hard.
And your joys and love, hate could not retard.
There must be times when there are concealed feelings and thoughts you have not revealed.
But in the New Year I promise to be more thoughtful of you and more conscious of me. (The self absorbed and focused me)
Time knows no other than to slip gently away, but Happy New Years, my child (my family and friends) shall be yours every day! author unknown
So as the scars on the 2 sides of my ankle fade away (nicely I might add) and 2014 disappear from one day to the next, please look into your hearts and see what God did allow and for what lesson it was for you in light of your past year. Then take what you’ve gleaned into 2015 as a new exciting challenge for your own New Years opportunities to do and be a better brighter you:)). To be all God has designed and purposed for you to be.
And in closing to this series and in opening the unknown new, I want to say a huge thank you to express my gratitude to all who supported and helped me (us) get through this past year. I couldn’t have done it without all of YOU:))))!!!!! You are loved very much.
And once again, it is very well with my soul!